You may recall that last year I wrote about Ability and Productivity. I know that the Lord has given us each gifts, and one of my gifts (and complete joys) is sewing. I love quilting, but these cute handtowels have been a hit with SO many people. Before Christmas, I "whipped up" (just casually, between my three kids and my full time job) 130 hand towels. THEY ALL SOLD. How blessed am I. My fundraising account is fat and healthy, and I was able to spread the world about my mission and my attempt to raise money to get to Ethiopia. God gives us each different gifts, and we are charged with using them well. Why squander a gift if it can be used to bring blessing or increase? I feel really uncomfortable about ASKING for money. But I feel really happy with EARNING money. I know that in whichever way, God will provide if it is His will to do so. But while I wait for that miracle windfall, I can do these seemingly small acts with these seemingly unimportant gifts. And it all adds up.
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So this happened last month - I got on the platform at church (along with about 30 other people) to testify of Gods goodness and transformational nature, and in under twenty written words was able to give Him the glory through a snippet of my story.
What people saw was an enthusiastic, carefree woman able to throw sense to the wind and leave for the developing world, on a love mission with her Creator. What they didn't see was an exhausted single mum battling with ill health, knowing the enemy was trying to put a wall between hearts call and hands action. God said. He said. Not I, not Pastor, not inspirational meme - God said. How easy it is to make assumptions. How easy it is to cover up the real story. But the struggle for it, that's part of the testimony. It doesn't need to imply weakness, or hint of divine anointing, it just simply needs to be spoken and shared. And the author, to always be acknowledged. So in the face of chronic illness and in the face of financial pinch, my eyes rise above, to the One who called. To the One I answered. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:3-5 This is really the book that started it all off - that decided that it would be Ethiopia I would travel to. I was dropping my daughter to daycare, which is in a church, and I saw this book on the bookshelf. I periodically borrow books from here, and this caught my eye. I pretty much inhaled it, and finished the book in a few days. It sparked my heart for Africa, and also for the provision of medical aid to those who are in true and dire need of it.
The Hospital by the River, the story of Dr Catherine Hamlin, an Australian OB/GYN who, together with her late husband Dr Reginald Hamlin, travelled for a short spell to Ethiopia in 1959. They fell in love with the country, and realized the enormous need for their services repairing terrible obstetric fistula - a childbirth injury that occurs from prolonged obstructed labour and leaves the woman incontinent. The Hamlins ended up staying in Ethiopia and opening the Hamlin Fistula hospital in Addis Ababa. The work of the Hamlins has continued since then, and Dr Catherine still resides in Ethiopia at age 93, still performing surgeries well into her 80's! Visit the Hamlin Fistula Hospital website here for more info about what they do. I am in total awe of Dr Catherine, and of the dedication to relieving suffering in a nation who have such a need for her skill. Since the Africa dream had been already swelling up in my heart in the previous few months, I knew that this was a bit of a hint on Gods part, and I started researching Ethiopia. The statistics that I found from the World Health Organisation really struck me, and I started praying for Ethiopia. A month before I read this book, I had put a map of Africa on our family prayer wall as I had been committed to praying for God to reveal His desires to me. After I read this book, and knew of the great need in Ethiopia, I coloured it in red, and we prayed for this nation specifically. Once seen, you can't unsee it. Once you know the need, how can you ever be satisfied without doing something about it? I know that there are people with a heart to help the hurting, and God graces us all to do different things. Some of us are made for outreach to our city's homeless. Some of us are made to make meals for struggling families. Some of us are created to spread the gospel, and some of us are built for hands-on care in developing nations. Catherine Hamlin made an incredible impact on Ethiopia. She has dedicated her life to the women who she takes in and restores, and she has been awarded a great many honours for her humanitarian work. But she gives all the glory to God, and she knows that she has been fully used by Him for His purposes. That's the best part of her story. I probably won't be able to build a hospital or a training program in my time in Ethiopia, but I know that I will be able to love upon people who are in need of compassion and skill. God gives us all gifts, and it is our duty to hear from Him about how we can best use them, and then just do it. Just outwork faith and make it tangible - that's being the hands of Jesus. It doesn't need to be profound, like Dr Hamlins work, it just needs to be done out of love and mercy. Easy. Gods Word tells us that His plan is good, and it is to give us a hope and a future. Gods Word tells us that He already knows the plans He has for us. That they are good. That they are not evil. From the beginning, He loved us and He planned for us and He longs to use us to fulfill His plans. What i've learnt from following Jesus is that loving and knowing Jesus doesn't exclude us from experiencing hard stuff. We will still encounter difficulty. We will still feel hurt and brokenness. We will still sin. But He doesn't leave us by ourselves in all of that, and if we can hold into our faith that ALL of Gods plans are good, we can grow from our experiences in the valley even more that we grow from the mountaintop moments. I know one question that a lot of people ask - Christian or not - is why does God allow suffering? If God was real, and kind and loving, why are there famines and disease and disaster in the world? I can't give you the most theologically sound answer to that, but I know that ALL of Gods plans are good, and that He makes a way for people to reflect His goodness. If there was no famine, we would not reach out. If there were no disease outbreaks, we would not offer aid. If there were no disasters, we would not rescue. We are part of Gods rescue plan. We are part of His plan and when we say YES to being used by Him, we can show Gods nature to others who may never have known Him if we didn't. God uses us to be the good, to be the responders in the face of famine, disease and disaster. He uses us in His plans - His plans which are always good. One thing I want to teach my daughters is that we are made to love outwardly. So much of the world is consumed by a "me first" agenda. Societal norms are now about what feels good for YOU, what YOU want to do, what makes YOU happy. Social anthropologist I am not, but the nuances of culture and society have always fascinated me. How did we get here? How did we evolve into such a selfish generation? Or have we always been this way? Or am I just a cynic? I am pretty intentional with a lot of what we do as a family, especially around spiritual formation. I desperately want them to live from a "JOY" framework - Jesus first, Others second, Yourself third. This is an absolutely counter-cultural statement in the time and society that we live in. We are surrounded by affluence, by people of means and money and influence. My kids friends are frequently off to Fiji, or Disneyland, or the Gold Coast. They have the latest gear, they have wardrobes of clothes and money to burn. How can I raise my family differently in a culture of ME? 1. Being thankful and knowing how blessed we are. Our church has an outreach programme that we get involved with from time to time, so the girls are serving and giving directly to people who have considerably less than they do. They see it, it is tangible, it is in our own city, and they are involved in doing something about it. 2. Talk about developing nations. We discuss the crisis in many countries in Africa. We follow Unicef on Instagram and talk about the pictures of the Rohingya people fleeing Myanmar in flimsy boats, or the children in South Sudan who have no safe drinking water. The girls see the images, they are touched and changed by them. 3. Do something about it. From giving money to crisis funds, or sponsoring a child in a developing nation, even getting involved with outreach programmes here in our own city - we can all do something to make a change. Children can do this too - they can be involved in raising money to send to the Red Cross relief fund, or collect canned food for struggling Auckland families. They can go through their toys, or forgo a new item in order to give more to others. When I began fundraising for my trip, I remember talking to someone who was financially pretty well off, and saying that I was needing to get sponsors and donors, and it would be great if she could tell all of her rich friends. The Lord immediately convicted me that it wasn't the rich that would be my sponsors - it was the generous. Sometimes the most generous people are the ones who have less. Be the change. Love Jesus. Love others. Love yourself. Do what you can to give and to play a part in a social shift that is generous and transformational. To those who use well what they are given, even more would be given. Luke 19:26 I think that my Pastor is pretty brilliant. That's probably not unique - if you don't think your Pastor is brilliant, perhaps its time to change churches. But our Pastor is particularly brilliant, because it feels as if everything he says is personally applicable to my life. I know that's not possible - Pastor Martin does not read my journal. But God speaks through him in such a powerful way and the teaching is sooo good. The teaching at Harbourside this year has been outstanding - life changing, inspiring, convicting, humbling. Everything that Sunday sermons should be. But a Sunday sermon is just another pep talk unless you take it home on Sunday evening and put it into practice on Monday morning. Over the last few weeks, we have heard the message "Money is not the problem". Totally applicable - here I am wanting to embark on an expensive, short trip which requires me to fundraise, and of course Pastor Martin is speaking about increasing our income capacity. Just like a few months ago when I was dreaming of Africa in my heart and the "Yes and Amen" message caused me to surrender all and yell AMEN to God's Yes. I'm a nurse - and it's not a bad paying job, but you don't go into Nursing for the money. Auckland is expensive, children are expensive, and I can only work so many hours. But where my abilities lie, I have opportunity to produce income. LIGHTBULB. I love to sew, and in the past I have drummed up some extra income by selling a few reusable items like cloth baby wipes and cloth breastpads, and other little items I can whip up easily. In the last couple of years i've made oodles of funky little hand towels for Christmas gifts - mostly for my sister in law to give as gifts to her family! It's just using my God-given ability, and interests, to work and produce. How blessed am I. So the last two days have been a sew-a-thon. I've made 60 hand towels, 100 baby wipes and 8 runs of bunting. My ability + productivity = increase. And the more the increase, the closer I am to getting on a plane next year. It took me a long time to finally become a Nurse. I wanted to be an RN since I was 17 years old, when I worked as a Nurse Aide in a private hospital. Working with the elderly was wonderful - that's where I developed that nursing compassion for others - the kind of compassion that doesn't mind changing adult nappies or showering an elderly war veteran; the compassion that drives you to go the extra mile to make sure the lady in room 14 has her lipstick on before she's wheeled into the dining room. My nursing journey started in aged care, took a diversion into motherhood, then into some extramural study that led me into a mental health qualification, where I worked in adult and maternal crisis respites. All incredibly valuable stuff. But it wasn't until I was 27 that I went back to Uni full time to gain a Bachelor of Nursing. As soon as my studies began, I thrived. Nursing called me, and I fit right into it like it had always been meant for me. The biggest question a student nurse faces toward the end of her training is "what kind of nursing?". During our degree, we get a broad range of experiences in different areas - mental health, inpatient nursing, community nursing, and a final semester where you get to choose an area of nursing to "transition" into. By my final year I knew I wanted to work in the community - hospital was not for me. I like people! I like talking to people, I love the follow up seeing the same patients and having that continuing relationship. People feel valued when they are known, and they trust you when you remember their story. My community placement had been in Primary Health Care (PHC) in a medical center, and so for my transition I chose to work alongside some incredible District Nurses in a fun little area of Auckland called Otara. I was trained and supported so very well, in particular by three amazing nurses who I am still in contact with now. I learnt so much on that placement - I learnt about the hidden deprivation in our own city, about the incredible resilience that some families could have, about health from many different cultural views. Oh and the wound care - love! After my training was up and I was a fully qualified Registered Nurse (finally!) I began my working life as a Practice Nurse in PHC, and loved it. I moved to a new job at the start of 2017 and have just thrived in my workplace. I am so blessed to work 4 minutes drive from home (makes life A LOT easier), to be part of an incredible, supportive nursing team and a very talented, caring GP team. Always, always, my favorite part of my job is developing relationships with patients. Seeing them again and again - during the wound healing process, for management of chronic conditions, for childhood vaccinations. The biggest joy in my job is being able to be the hands and mouth of Jesus, and to send people away loved and cared for. Yes, nursing takes skill and knowledge. Nursing needs science and research. Nursing needs intuition and focus and drive. But nursing needs love and compassion at the heart of it. No matter who we nurse - what condition they have, what choices they make, what socioeconomic situation they are in, no matter what religion or race they are - each individual that comes my way gives me an opportunity to make them feel heard and cared for. How very blessed am I - to have this career that gives me the opportunity to do that, and to be able to use all the other nursing skills required of me as a NZRN to go into a different nation, where medical care isn't so easy, and to be the hands and mouth of Jesus there too. We just never know the full extent of the ripple effect that our actions can have. Every action has a consequence. Whether the consequence is that, seemingly, nothing happens, or that you can see a tangible change. An action has a consequence - but we do not always know what it is. Think about a ripple across the sheen of water, where the drop of one pebble (the action) has an effect through the water it has dropped into. The stone has already sunk, the moment is passed and it will not witness the change in the pattern or structure of the water. But from the action of the pebble, comes movement and change - there is a consequence to that stone's fall.. Our actions - whether we see the effect of them or not - have the power to produce great movement. How we speak to people, how we use our time, how we get involved in our community - all of these are small actions that can have great consequences. Perhaps you volunteer your time every week to coach a sports team, or another community group. Thankless, tiring, and hopefully occasionally fulfilling - but the unseen effect of your presence, of the words you speak, of the way you encourage or simply the way you show up - it all has an effect, of which may have eternal consequence. A few years ago I got into doing some volunteer work where I ran a small group for mums. One Saturday afternoon, I was already feeling grumpy and overwhelmed because of my own family and work commitments, and getting to the group was a struggle that day. Only one other mum showed up and I felt like my time was completely wasted, organizing my life and struggling to arrange this group on my own, and here I was sitting with only one participant. I felt so discouraged, but yet I fully engaged with this one woman, listened to her story and her struggles, and shared a little about my own journey. At the end of our time, she hugged me and with tears in her eyes, she thanked me for listening. She said that she hadn't felt like anyone had listened to her in so long, and yet I gave her the opportunity to talk out her heart; she left feeling lighter. It was worth it. The effort was worth it, because the consequence was great. I will never be able to know all the small ways that things changed for her because she had felt valued and heard. It wasn't world-changing, but it could have been life-changing. It wasn't monumental, but it was significant. As nurses, we are commissioned to love. We are called to listen, to comfort and to make our patients feel like the most important people, one at a time. Only God can ever know the ripple effect of our interactions when we look at them in love and compassion. We drop the stone, but the effect ripples out. I'm going to be travelling into an enormous country, with enormous need. There are around 100 million people in Ethiopia - and the health need is so very great. My actions wont be world-changing, but they may be life-changing. My time there may not be monumental, but it will be significant. The ripple effect of this trip is too beautiful to predict - I already know that this will be a catalyst for change - in my own life, the lives of my children, in my career. But most importantly, it will be a catalyst for change in the lives of the people I will encounter. The consequences will be unseen - I can't even imagine how far the ripple will spread. So, if I said no to going? If I said it was too hard - what then? If God is nudging you to do something, it's because He needs your seemingly small action to be a catalyst. When we say "Yes" to God, we invite Him into the situations we agree to, and He is the One whom through all things are possible. He needs you to action the ripple so that He can deal with the eternal consequences. Your movement could be life-changing, it could be significant. And the ripple could spread far and wide - far wider than you could possibly dream. IT'S A GOD DREAM
I've begun talking to various people about my plans to visit Ethiopia, and most have responded positively to my vision. Every time I talk about it I feel the need from within me to acknowledge God in this - whether I am speaking to Christians or not. Because it's His thing, it's His dream and I am so humbled to be the vessel. I spent some time with a wonderful, spirit filled woman from my church, who has herself followed God's call into countries in great need. We talked about the culture shock, the God call, and the way those experiences shaped her. What stuck with me was that she was so joyful in proclaiming that she had been completely covered during those trips - covered in prayer. She had so many people praying for her, for favour and blessings; to be God's hands in a nation who needed to know love and compassion. In the middle of the desperate poverty and disease and broken culture, she felt peace and strength, because she knew that she was covered by God's mantle of blessing and protection. So friends, please cover me. Please be my prayer team. Please faithfully lift this mission up in the name of Jesus - even if you aren't a believer, I am, and He will hear your prayer. Pray for safety, for health and for protection. Pray for radical trust and for courage. Pray for the other healthcare workers going on this trip. Pray for International Medical Relief. Pray for the health clinic and hospital that we are working in. Pray that we would be effective in our work, showing great love and exceptional medical care. Pray for donations of supplies, medicines, and other needed items to take into the nation. Pray for Ethiopia. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. Psalm 91:4 Wow, so this is it - i'm doing it. I'm not just leaning back and dreaming about it - it's all happening. I've set up a fundraising page, which was a huge pride hurdle to overcome, and which made it all seem very feasible. The reality is that I can't afford to do this trip by myself. But I know that this is a request direct from God, so even though I may not have the money, He sure does! If you read my rambles from time to time, you may hear a lot about this God guy - I've got a strong faith and really, why would anyone go to Ethiopia for a relaxing holiday? It's obviously a God Dream. Totally irrational, but something I feel deeply compelled to do. The idea of going to Ethiopia has been on my mind for several months, after reading the biography of Dr Catherine Hamlin, who set up the Hamlin Fistula Hospital together with her late husband. The pair of obstetricians dedicated their lives to the people of Ethiopia, and it was while reading the accounts of the desperate need and the blatant disparities between African and Western society, that the little flame inside my heart was sparked. I dismissed it as a far off dream, until I was browsing on Instagram and one humanitarian organisation's post led to another, which eventually led me to a post about International Medical Relief. The very minute I saw they did a short mission trip to Ethiopia, I knew that God was setting me up. And although I shrugged it off as impossible - I am, after all, an incredibly busy working Mum who can't even keep up with the washing pile - God kept nudging me. It all became blatantly obvious that God was leading me to go to Ethiopia when, after some months of having the call on my heart, one Sunday at church, Pastor Martin began preaching about having a God Dream. He literally said "if you feel you are called to Africa as a missionary" - and I actually think he was making a joke. But I felt the jolt right through me. I walked out of that sermon stunned, and announced to my friend in utter disbelief and resignation, "I'm going to Africa", and burst into tears. I set aside a month from that day to pray and seek truth about the trip. The more I did, the more I felt it confirmed. I signed up to IMR for the August 2018 trip, in total faith that I would be able to raise the exorbitant amount of money needed to travel and the IMR medical donation. The biggest part of making the decision was telling my family. My poor Mum - not too impressed with my choice of travel destination! And then of course I had to re-activate my Facebook account (i'd been Facebook-free for 10 months) so that I can prepare to spread the word. And now this - because writing is important to me, and processing something big like this is important, and inspiring others is important. Writing it all down will be a part of the journey. Thank you for taking the time to stop in and check out my thoughts. Please make your way over to my Give-a-little page where you can donate, and pass along the links to as many people as possible. Check in from time to time here for updates. God bless you, M |
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